Changed Forever

I (Kennette Bryant) met Jamie for the first time about 9 years ago when she and Maureen came to San Diego as a stop on their cross country road trip. Dan had grown up with my husband Barry La Forgia and was Uncle Barry to their kids.

My first memory of Jamie is her walking around the hallway corner of our home, smile first. It was love at first sight with this young woman of dreams, hopes, struggles, and an honesty about who she was (good and bad). She was a year younger than my eldest son so there was a generational gap. But, Jamie taught me so much on the many levels that I learned age mattered little with friends. Her youthful perspective widened mine. I hope that in turn I did not drive her too crazy with my maternal advice and over protectiveness. You see, she lived with us for a time, and after moving out we still felt we were there to watch over her. She honored us by referring to us as her West Coast Parents.

Jamie brought us so much laughter, humor, passion and joy. We spent hours chatting over life’s meaning, wonderful authors, travels and its lessons, relationships. We struggled when she struggled and longed so desperately to see her fulfilled. Nothing delighted me more than watching her and Barry watching sports, yelling, cursing, drinking and laughing. No one appreciated Barr’s silly puns like Jamie could. She loved her safe cocoon at our home and then her small place in Del Mar, and when it was time to leave and blossom, she did it fully. Her friends in San Diego became steadfast, lifelong ones and they will all attest that when she accepted you in her heart, she never let you go willingly. It was so hard to watch her move back to New York, but I have never bid farewell to anyone with more anticipation and hope. She deserved so much more than she could find on the West Coast. Though she was always open to love and career path, she was certain that she would never find all she longed for.

A few months after she moved to New York, Jamie called me to share that her cousin was getting married in Queretaro. She was struggling financially after moving to N.Y. She wanted to attend but wasn’t sure she could swing it. I insisted she go because I loved the area and thought she would enjoy experiencing something so different and new. I encouraged her enthusiastically knowing she really wanted to anyway.

Shortly after the wedding, Barr and I traveled to Manhattan and met her for lunch. How I wish you could have seen her! She was radiant. Her hair was shoulder length. She was wearing a skirt and blouse with high black heels, a modern large purse and looked like she had emerged from a Vogue magazine. The only difference was the smile that lighted up the room as soon as she entered. Vogue models couldn’t compare! It was obvious she was in her element! One hour was NOT enough to catch up, but she shared meeting Paul and casually stated that perhaps he might be “the One”! I gasped and hoped inwardly he was all she wanted, knowing that was such a tall order to fill.

A few months later, Paul and Jamie came to visit and stayed a night with us. Paul was more than we could have hoped for as Jamie’s “gent”. It was pretty obvious that they were both in love and comfortable with each other in ways that so few of us can be at that age and stage of relationship. As the months went by and Jamie and I Skype’d or talked on the phone she began to reveal how Paul challenged her in all the ways she had hoped for in a life partner. He drove her to be the best woman she could be and with him she blossomed. At their wedding, I saw in her a happiness we could have only imagined. Somehow Paul and Jamie found the perfect formula on how to become “power couple” allowing each to be authentic, complete and mutually supported.

As the months passed we shared with her the joys of a dream house, the obstacles of pregnancy, the birth of twins, a precious visit to meet them, and then the incredible news of Reagan. What an incredible miracle to add to the others in Jamie’s life! Something they said she’d never do on her own. Typical Jamie.

2 days before Reagan arrived, I called Jamie and left her a message. I told her how much I loved her, how I knew that now we’d never hear from her with 3 babies in diapers, but how much we would be thinking and praying for her. She messaged me
back on Facebook that Reagan wasn’t ready to make her entrance and didn’t yet have a name. She was waiting to see her little face to make sure it matched the name. Weeks later I printed all our messages and refer to them from time to time when I ache for her.

When Barry broke the terrible news to me on the morning of July 31st, I refused to believe it, as all of us did. I denied it then and part of me denies it now. You see, though Jamie’s body is gone, she left so much of herself with us it is hard to accept that she isn’t here still. None of us will ever forget her laughter, her smile, her beautiful expressions captured and shared on this website. Those moments live in us all. We won’t ever forget how much we loved her ability to be strong as a rock yet vulnerable as a child. Who among us was not taken aback by her fierce passion and loyalty whether for the Yankees or her best beloved. In her children we see her love, her devotion and her meaning in life. In her husband we see her fulfillment with romance, companionship, partnership and a true friendship. In her siblings we see a life long loyalty and love that doesn’t compare. In her friends we all feel the sincerity and love that we miss beyond words. Finally, in her parents we see a bright shining star that twinkles forever, with pain, sorrow, longing and gratitude for the life that blessed them.

Carl Jung once said that when two souls meet and connect they are forever changed. How amazing that Jamie connected with us all and caused an effect in each one of us. In her passing she connected us all together to change us as a group forever. I hope with all our love, we can become that village that is needed to raise those beautiful children. I hope we can show them through our love and memories that her light shines forever in us and in them.

We will love you always, Dear beautiful Jamie.

– Kennette