Jamie O’Brien Kindem Memorial 5K Run/Walk

Five of Jamie’s soccer and lacrosse teammates – high school classmates and friends Mara R., Ashley W., Regan T., Holly H. and Jill B., and teacher and friend Maureen B. – organized and hosted a 5k race on November 30, 2013, which they called the Jamie O’Brien Kindem Memorial 5k Run/Walk. These dynamic ladies – with lots of help from others, especially their families – were super successful at gathering sponsors to fund and staff the event. They thought of the smallest details like hand and feet warmers for runners, hot coffee and cocoa for everyone, t-shirts for all the participants, kids’ runs, and loud speakers with Jamie’s favorite songs playing in the background throughout the event. They had a microphone hooked up to the system so that Mara, Ashley, and Regan could welcome everyone to the event and tell some of their own thoughts about Jamie.

Sharing a little background of the organizers: Jill met Jamie in elementary school and formed a deep friendship; Regan played basketball with Jamie in middle school, lacrosse in high school and hung out together a lot; Mara, Ashley and Holly played travel and high school soccer with Jamie, traveling to Europe to compete; and Maureen was Jamie’s teacher who took her on a school trip to Greece, and is a longstanding O’Brien family friend.

This very special run was held on one of the coldest mornings of this winter at Wilson Farm Park, which is in Berwyn, PA (the O’Briens’ home town for many years). It’s a beautiful park, with running trails, large fields, bath houses, picnic areas, and a huge playground. It was quite the perfect space for a memorial of this caliber. A race company (Race IT) handled the logistics of the race: the official start, fancy finish line, big stop clock, and most importantly, keeping everyone’s time based on their numbers. Raffle prizes were awarded and age group winners were given gifts to go home with. It was a truly amazing memorial, with a fantastic turnout of more than 200.

After the 5k race, Mara separated the kids into two age groups, 3-6 and 6-10 year olds and did two “fun runs.” All of the kids were given first place medals, but the “real” winners were announced over the loud speaker.

The O’Brien-Kindem families were all in attendance for this almost surreal and inspiring event. Paul was truly taken aback by the number of participants, the level of thought, care, and effort that was put into hosting this race, and the amount of love he and his family felt. He commented that he “felt like he was in a dream,” during his thank you remarks.

Maureen O’Brien thanked everyone for being there and said some very touching words at the start of the event. Paul added his thoughts and his gratitude for all the work the organizers had done and talked about how inspirational Jamie was and why she is so loved and missed.

The O’Brien-Kindem families are very grateful for your love, your support, and for your friendship. We think of Jamie constantly every day, and we miss her so very much. We continue to grieve for our loss, and we grieve for the loss John, Larkin, and Reagan will someday come to know. However, we embrace all good that can come from a loss such as this, and given the circumstances, we are thankful to have been part of such a special event. Jamie would have been proud, and very deeply touched.

So, a huge thank you to Mara, Ashley, Jill, Regan, Holly, Maureen B (each of whom has shared some comments below), to all the participants, and to the very generous sponsors for this incredible event.

We love and miss you, Jamie. Always.

– The O’Brien-Kindem Families

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Special Thanks to the Sponsors:

Altus Partners, Inc.

Binni & Fylnn’s

Brinker Capital, Inc.

Career Solutions Publishing

Conestoga HS Girls Lacrosse Team

Conestoga Ice Hockey

Gloria Rust

Kevin, Diana and Nicky Galbraith

Oberholtzer Cabinetry

Paoli Acme

Pathmath

The Barry Family

The Clement Family

The Frazier Family

The Goat’s Family

The Humphrey Family

The Katherine Alexandra Foundation

The Madora Family

The Poling Family

The Radnor Hotel

The Richardson Family

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Words from the Organizers:

Jamie was an incredibly passionate person and if you ever had the blessing to have known Jamie – in any capacity – you were aware of that passion. High on the list of things Jamie was most passionate about was athletics. When we were kids – I remember sleeping over at her house and plastered on the walls of her room were pictures of Bill Parcells and Giants – Phil Simms staring at me as I fell asleep. Years later it became Tino Martinez, Derek Jeter and David Justice when I visited her at Sarah Lawrence. She really loved those Yankees! From my understanding she then developed her passion for UNC Tarheels athletics.

Although we didn’t play soccer together – we did play basketball in middle school and lacrosse in high school together. I was also very competitive on the field and Jamie made me want to play even harder.

As an athlete herself, Jamie excelled at soccer and lacrosse at Conestoga and through the years she always valued and maintained an active and healthy lifestyle. She took part in several “races” like this one (5K) with her family.

– Regan

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I have thought many times about sitting down and taking some time to write about Jamie and my memories of her. Her death hit me hard, considerably harder than I ever would have anticipated and it continues to touch me every day. My memories from high school are many and it is difficult to write about them in any way that would bring their reality to life for anyone’s eyes but mine. Jamie and I played soccer together and spent just about every weekend traveling for this purpose. It was an unbelievably close team and a source of many of my best memories from my childhood. Upon hearing that Jamie passed away I felt all the emotions that one would expect- shock, disbelief, pain, anger, sadness. I felt all of these things despite not having been in close contact with Jamie for years.

After a number of months, I still felt these things. I was still brought to tears at the very thought of Jamie and she seemed to be popping into my mind quite often. Sometimes it would be because of thinking about soccer, high school and friendships and other times it was prompted by looking at my daughters and imagining them growing up to have teams and friends like I did. It was strange: my husband, who maybe had only heard Jamie’s name in passing before, began to hear much more about her. I was trying to make my peace. Trying to justify what had happened. Trying to understand. The problem is, what I came to realize was that I was never going to understand. I was never going to be able to say, “oh, this is why this happened’.

Knowing I was helpless to change the past, incapable of making it better, I became determined to do something. To somehow keep her memory alive for all of us who hadn’t been in recent contact, but who loved her, were shaped and molded by her friendship and felt helpless in regard to the beautiful life she created in North Carolina.

The group of women who came together to plan and host a 5K in her honor- all friends (and a teacher!) of Jamie’s from Conestoga High School -wanted to do something to remember Jamie. We wanted to do something to show our love and support. We were compelled to remember her and help others to remember. Personally, I wanted to provide the opportunity for everyone who knew her to come together for her and for the people she loved most dearly in the world. The race was a huge success – more than 200 people participated and we raised funds for Jamie and Paul’s children and their future. We worked hard to make the details as perfect as they could be. I was overjoyed (and a bit surprised) that we pulled it off, considering we really didn’t have a clue what we were doing.

I thought maybe that my hurt and sadness would start to diminish but it hasn’t. I still think of Jamie every day. Sometimes I laugh, thinking about her dancing to Marky Mark on the soccer field, sometimes I cry thinking how cruel life seems, and sometimes I reach out to those around me and hug them tight. The hurt will not likely fade. It is forever unfair for our world to have lost a woman with so much love and joy. We will continue to remember Jamie and see her spirit through her children and family. I welcome the thoughts of her as they drift through my mind regardless of the hurt I feel. I know that remembering is important as she was part of my life for a very significant time. She has touched so many over the years, I hope that we all find our way to smile, cry and keep her in our hearts.

– Mara

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Jamie was part of the soccer crew. There was a core group of us who played together throughout junior high and high school – on both our school team and our travel team. We traveled nearly every weekend together over many years, including a wonderful trip to Europe. Our senior year, Jamie, Ashley Widger and I were the captains of the Conestoga High School girls soccer team. My memories of Jamie are mainly on the playing field — I remember her as a fierce competitor. She often played the wing position and I can remember so many times when she would blow past the defender, right to the corner, and lob the most beautiful pass into the center of the field. Or, she herself would score with a diving header or some other equally dramatic shot. I remember Jamie playing through injuries and never giving up on the field. Off the field, it’s her smile that I remember. Such a big, bright smile – it was magnetic. When I heard of her tragic death, it was just so hard to believe. I (along with many of her other soccer and high school friends) have young children about the same age. As a mom, it just hits really hard thinking about what this loss would feel like for my own family. With that said, I truly cannot imagine a better support system for Paul and the kids. I have seen, firsthand, how the O’Brien’s and Kindem’s have come together through this. I saw it when that big ole caravan of O’Brien/Kindem cars pulled up for the 5k –what an amazing group of people.

The race just felt like a very fitting tribute to Jamie. Many of us from Conestoga High School had lost touch and were brought back together through Jamie and through the 5k. The outpouring of support from Jamie’s friends and community are a testament to her life and to her legacy. It was a privilege to be involved.

-Holly

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So I just wanted to say a few quick words about Jamie. As we all know, this is a bitter sweet day. We are all here on common ground. Jamie had an impact on us all. Her passion surfaced not only in her competitive spirit and in her work, but in her relationships with her family, her friends, her children and her husband. Her passion was also revealed in her love of the arts, and in her drive to help others. If Jamie felt strongly about something, we knew it. She was stubborn. And that is what I love about her. Paul, your children will embody this passion as it is clear to me that you both shared enthusiasm for growth, acceptance, sport and family. I imagine that with each year this race is held, we will all continue to come together and bear witness to the passion and ambition and accomplishments of Larkin, John and Reagan as you, the O’Briens and the Kindems, continue to keep her spirit alive.

-Ashley

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I met Jamie at Beaumont Elementary school and we became friends quickly. Her outgoing nature and smile, which only Jamie had, made it easy to like her. A year after we met, my parents got divorced. My older sisters were no longer home and my “stay at home” mom had to go back to work. I was often left home alone. Jamie did all she could to help me feel not so alone. We would spend hours on the phone during the week and on the weekends I often “lived” at the O’Brien house. We spent a TON of time in the basement on Nathan Hale Drive. It was silly time that always had us smiling. Whether we were making up dances, filming movies or talking about our crushes, we always had smiles on our faces.

As we spent more time together we started to refer to each other as “sisters” and in our numerous notes that we wrote to each other we ended each one with “LYLAS,” which stood for “Love you like a sister.” She and the O’Brien family became my family during a time that my own family was in disarray. That kindness has always stuck with me as has that beautiful smile, which will always be imprinted in my mind and heart.

– Jill

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My connection to the Jamie O’Brien-Kindem 5K Memorial Run is the only way I can possibly deal with her loss. Having no control over the situation left me with emotional pain that never goes away. There is no answer to what happened. Jamie was a passionate young woman who loved her family and had so many dreams for tomorrow. In a moment her life ended.

My glass is always half full, so when her friends wanted to create the 5K I decided to be a helper bee to make Jamie O’Brien Kindem a lasting memory, not just in my heart but also in my actions. The 5K gave me an opportunity to use passion like Jamie did in life. I know Paul will always bring her to life for her children and they will always know the loving person that gave them life. The 5 K Memorial Run will also make her immortal not only for her children but also for her parents, Dan and Maureen, her siblings and extended family. The 5K will bring Jamie’s loved ones together to remember all that she was, is and was meant to be. It will provide an opportunity to help her children and to witness how they are growing up.

Jamie gave so much love to others that it is only fitting that love is returned to her. “Jamie, I will always remember you as the liberal rebel, the Yankee fanatic, the world traveler and the beautiful bride on the Hudson River. You will always be a very special young woman in my life.” Your sudden departure from us was totally unfair and it leaves us all vulnerable and in tears.

– Maureen B.

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JAMIE, YOU SHOWED ALL OF US HOW TO BE BETTER – MAY YOUR INSPIRING SPIRIT
SHINE BRIGHTLY THROUGH THE REST OF TIME

Jamie cared deeply about people. She cared about others more than she cared for herself, and she wanted so badly to make a profound impact on this world. She might not have made her impact the way any of us would have wanted her to, but when talking to people about their experiences with Jamie and seeing the way everyone wants to celebrate her life and support her children, it’s clear to me (Paul) that she has touched the lives of many people, and changed them in a way that is very much for the better. I always knew Jamie was special, but just how special she is and was, continues to become more and more clear to me. All of us who knew her were blessed to have the time with her that we did, and we will be forever better for having known her.

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MEMORIAL 5K RUN/WALK PICTURES

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